Jokes for kids

jokes for kids

 

 

If you are looking for the best collection of jokes for kids then you have come to the right place!

 

 

It’s been said that laughter is the best medicine and what better daily medicine than to hear a hilarious joke.

 

Here are a few home truths:

 

Laughter is an instant vacation and a day without laughter is a day wasted.

You can create a spirit of joy in your home by introducing a spring of playfulness and happiness. 

Not only will the following 200 jokes for kids encourage your child to have a giggle, you both will  rediscover another infinitely more important lesson:

Life is so much better when spent laughing. 

 

So without further ado, here’s a collection of the 200 very best, most epic and hilarious jokes for kids:

 

Jokes for kids

 

 

JOKE 1

Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

ANSWER:  It kept getting stuck in the cracks.

 

 

JOKE 2

How do you tell a boy snowman apart from a girl snowman?

ANSWER: Snowballs

 

 

JOKE 3

Which is the only way a leopard can change his spots?

ANSWER: By going from one spot to another.

 

 

JOKE 4

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

ANSWER: Frostbite.

 

 

JOKE 5

What is the worst vegetable to have on a ship?

ANSWER: A leek.

 

  

JOKE 6

What do you call a fly without wings?

ANSWER: A walk.

 

 

JOKE 7

Why did the belt go to jail?

ANSWER: For holding up a pair of pants.

 

 

JOKE 8

How do football players stay cool during games?

ANSWER:  They stand next to the fans.

 

 

JOKE 9

What did one wall say to the other wall?

ANSWER: I’ll meet you at the corner.

 

 

JOKE 10

What do you call it when your parachute doesn’t open?

ANSWER: Jumping to a conclusion.

 

 

JOKE 11

What does a book do in the winter?

ANSWER: Puts on a jacket. 

 

 

JOKE 12

What does an envelope say when you lick it?

ANSWER: Nothing, it just shuts up.

 

 

JOKE 13

Why did the pony cough?

ANSWER: He was a little horse.

 

 

JOKE 14

Why did the man run around his bed?

ANSWER: Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep.

 

 

JOKE 15

Why was the football coach upset with the candy machine?

ANSWER: He wanted his quarter back

 

 

 

JOKE 16

Why is a bubble like a bruise?

ANSWER: Because it comes from a blow.

 

 

JOKE 17

What did zero say to eight? 

ANSWER: Nice belt!

 

 

JOKE 18

Why is a dirty rug like a bad boy?

ANSWER: Both need beating.

 

 

JOKE 19

Where do polar bears go to vote?

ANSWER: The North Poll

 

 

JOKE 20

What do you call an old snowman?

ANSWER: Water. 

 

 

 

JOKE 21

What animals would be the best at playing video games?

ANSWER: An octopus.

 

 

JOKE 22

What is the easiest way to double your money?

ANSWER: Use a mirror

 

 

JOKE 23

What did one toilet say to the other?

ANSWER: You look flushed.

 

 

JOKE 24

If two snakes marry, what will their towels say?

ANSWER: Hiss and Hers.

 

 

JOKE 25

Why are ghosts’ bad liars?

ANSWER: Because you can see right through them.

 

 

JOKE 26

Why do bees hum? 

ANSWER: Cause they do not know the words

 

 

JOKE 27

What building has the most stories? 

ANSWER: The library.

 

 

JOKE 28

What is the saddest fruit in the world?

ANSWER: Blueberry

 

 

JOKE 29

What do you call a sleeping bull?

ANSWER: A bulldozer.

 

 

JOKE 30

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?

ANSWER: He had no body to dance with.

 

 

JOKE 31

What gets wetter the more it dries?

ANSWER: A towel.

 

 

JOKE 32

What did the calculator say to the other calculator? 

ANSWER: You can count on me.

 

 

JOKE 33

Where do fish keep their money?

ANSWER:  The riverbank

 

 

JOKE 34

What did the nose say to the finger?

ANSWER: Quit picking on me.

 

 

JOKE 35

Why did the doctor switch jobs?

ANSWER: He lost his patients.

 

 

JOKE 36

How do you make a tissue dance?

ANSWER: You put a little boogie in it.

 

 

JOKE 37

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

ANSWER: Right where you left him.

 

 

JOKE 38

What room in your house do ghosts avoid?

ANSWER:  The living room

 

 

JOKE 39

What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
ANSWER: A stick

 

 

JOKE 40

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

ANSWER:  Bugs Bunny

 

 

Jokes for kids

 

 

JOKE 41

How do we know that the ocean is friendly?

ANSWER: It waves.

 

 

JOKE 42

What’s the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher? 

ANSWER: Getting lost.

 

 

JOKE 43

What moves faster: heat or cold?

ANSWER: Heat because you can always catch a cold.

 

 

JOKE 44

What falls in winter but never gets hurt?

ANSWER:  Snow.

 

 

JOKE 45

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

ANSWER:  A carrot

 

 

JOKE 46

When is a man like a snake?

ANSWER: When he gets rattled.

 

 

JOKE 47

How many animals did Moses take on the ark?

ANSWER: Moses didn’t take anything on the ark. Noah did.

 

 

JOKE 48

What kind of dress can never be worn?

ANSWER: An address

 

 

JOKE 49

How can a girl go 25 days without sleep?

ANSWER: She sleeps at night.

 

 

JOKE 50

What cup can you never drink out of?

ANSWER: A hiccup

 

 

 

JOKE 51

What kind of tree fits in your hand?

ANSWER: A palm tree.

 

 

JOKE 52

How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?

ANSWER:  You never see rabbits wearing glasses.

 

 

JOKE 53

Why did the tomato turn red?

ANSWER:  Because he saw the salad dressing.

 

 

JOKE 54

How do you spell hard water with only three letters?

ANSWER: Ice.

 

 

JOKE 55

What word is always spelt incorrectly?

ANSWER: Incorrectly

 

 

JOKE 56

Why did the bird go to the hospital?

ANSWER: To get tweetment.

 

 

JOKE 57

Why did the student eat his homework?

ANSWER: Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!

 

 

JOKE 58

Why did the picture go to jail?

ANSWER: It was framed.

 

 

JOKE 59

What bow can’t be tied?

ANSWER: A rainbow

 

 

JOKE 60

Who always enjoys poor health?

ANSWER: A doctor.

 

 

JOKE 61

What has four eyes but can’t see?

ANSWER: Mississippi

 

 

JOKE 62

What jam can you not eat?

ANSWER: A traffic jam

 

 

JOKE 63

Where does Friday always come before Thursday?

ANSWER: In a dictionary

 

 

JOKE 64

How many letters are there in the alphabet?

ANSWER: Eleven – T-h-e A-l-p-h-a-b-e-t

 

 

JOKE 65

What do tigers have that no other animal can have?

ANSWER: Baby tigers

 

 

JOKE 66

What starts working only after it has been fired?

ANSWER: A rocket

 

 

JOKE 67

What kind of coat can you put on only when it’s wet?

ANSWER: A coat of paint

 

 

JOKE 68

What can jump higher than a house?

ANSWER: Anything because houses can’t jump.

 

 

JOKE 69

What sort of star is dangerous?

ANSWER: A shooting star.

 

 

JOKE 70

What’s as big as a giant but weighs zero kilos?

ANSWER: A giant’s shadow

 

 

JOKE 71

What has one head, one foot and four legs?

ANSWER: A bed.

 

 

JOKE 72

How many months have 28 days?
ANSWER: All 12 months.

 

 

JOKE 73

What two keys can’t open any door?
ANSWER: A monkey and a donkey.

 

 

JOKE 74

Which tire does not move when a car turns right?

ANSWER: The spare tire

 

 

JOKE 75

Why do bees have sticky hair?

ANSWER: Because they use honeycombs.

 

 

 

JOKE 76

How do trees get onto the internet?

ANSWER:  They log on

 

 

JOKE 77

What’s the best thing to put into a pie?

ANSWER: Your teeth

 

 

JOKE 78

Why did the girl sit on her watch?

ANSWER: She wanted to be on time

 

 

JOKE 79

Why was the math book sad?

ANSWER: Because it has too many problems.

 

 

JOKE 80

What’s the easiest way to find a lost pin in your carpet?

ANSWER: Walk around in bare feet.

 

Jokes for kids

 

 

JOKE 81

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

ANSWER: You’re too young to be smoking

 

 

JOKE 82

Why did the old man fall in the well?

ANSWER: Because he couldn’t see that well.

 

 

JOKE 83

What time do most people go to the dentist?

ANSWER: At tooth-hurty.

 

 

JOKE 84

What did the waterfall say to the fountain?

ANSWER: You’re just a little squirt.

 

 

JOKE 85

Why did E.T have such big eyes?

ANSWER: Because he saw the phone bill.

 

 

 

JOKE 86

Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
ANSWER: Because she was stuffed.

 

 

JOKE 87

What’s the easiest way to get a day off school?

ANSWER: Wait until Saturday

 

 

JOKE 88

What’s the easiest way to get on TV?

ANSWER: Sit on it.

 

 

JOKE 89

What has hands but can’t clap?
ANSWER: A clock.

 

 

JOKE 90

What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

ANSWER: A spelling bee.

 

 

JOKE 91

What did the spider’s bride wear to her wedding?

ANSWER: A webbing dress.

 

 

JOKE 92

Why did the man run around his bed?

ANSWER: He was trying to catch up on sleep.

 

 

JOKE 93

Why aren’t dogs good dancers?

ANSWER: They have two left feet.

 

 

JOKE 94

When is the moon the heaviest?

ANSWER: When it’s full.

 

 

JOKE 95

What did the blanket say to the bed?

ANSWER: Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.

 

 

JOKE 96

Why did they quit giving tests at the zoo?

ANSWER: Because it was full of cheetahs.

 

 

JOKE 97

What are the strongest days of the week?

ANSWER: Saturday and Sunday – the others are weekdays.

 

 

JOKE 98

Why did the banana go to the hospital?

ANSWER:  He was peeling really bad.

 

 

JOKE 99

Why did the leaf go to the doctor?

ANSWER: Because it was feeling green.

 

 

JOKE 100

Why did the teacher have to visit the eye specialist?

ANSWER: She just couldn’t control her pupils.

 

laughing kid

 

 

JOKE 101

What did the cheerleader say to the ghost?

ANSWER: Show your spirit.

 

 

JOKE 102

How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?

ANSWER: You rocket.

 

 

JOKE 103

What did the tree say to the wind?

ANSWER: Leaf me alone.

 

 

JOKE 104

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a teacher?

ANSWER: Lots of blood tests.

 

 

JOKE 105

Why did the jelly baby go to school?

ANSWER: Because he really wanted to be a smartie.

 

 

JOKE 106

What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?

ANSWER: A chicken sees a salad.

 

 

JOKE 107

What’s brown and sticky?

ANSWER: A stick.

 

 

JOKE 108

Why did the man take his clock to the vet?

ANSWER: Because it had ticks.

 

 

JOKE 109

Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?

ANSWER: To make up for his terrible summer.

 

 

JOKE 110

Where can you learn how to make ice cream?

ANSWER: At Sundae school.

 

 

JOKE 111

What did one eye say to the other?

ANSWER: Between you and me something smells.

 

 

JOKE 112

What do you give a sick lemon?

ANSWER: Lemon-Aid.

 

 

JOKE 113

What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?

ANSWER: Spelling.

 

 

JOKE 114

Why did the girl put lipstick on her head?

ANSWER: Because she wanted to make up her mind.

 

 

JOKE 115

Why was the skeleton afraid of the storm?

ANSWER: He didn’t have any guts.

 

 

JOKE 116

What time do ducks get up?

ANSWER: At the quack of dawn.

 

 

JOKE 117

Why did the computer go to the doctor?

ANSWER:  Because it had a virus.

 

 

JOKE 118

What did the duck say to the clown?

ANSWER: You quack me up.

 

 

JOKE 119

Why was the clown crying?

ANSWER: Because he broke his funny bone.

 

 

JOKE 120

Why is the number 6 afraid of the number 7?

ANSWER: Because seven eight nine.

 

Jokes for kids

 

 

JOKE 121

How do you stop a bull from charging?

ANSWER: Cancel its credit card.

 

 

JOKE 122

What do you call a pig that knows karate?

ANSWER: Pork Chop.

 

 

JOKE 123

What does a skeleton order for dinner?

ANSWER: Spare ribs.

 

 

JOKE 124

Why did the dog go so well at school?

ANSWER:  Because he was the teacher’s pet.

 

 

JOKE 125

Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?

ANSWER: Because he was sitting the deck.

 

 

JOKE 126

What do you call a three-legged donkey?

ANSWER: A wonkey.

 

 

JOKE 127

Why was the sand wet?

ANSWER: Because the sea weed.

 

 

JOKE 128

What do you call a thieving alligator?

ANSWER: A crookodile.

 

 

JOKE 129

Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife fall asleep?

ANSWER: Because of his coffin.

 

 

JOKE 130

Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?

ANSWER: Because she will let it go.

 

 

JOKE 131

What monster is the best dance partner?

ANSWER: The Boogie man.

 

 

JOKE 132

What did the stamp say to the envelope?

ANSWER: I’m stuck on you.

 

 

JOKE 133

What did one penny say to the other penny?

ANSWER: We make cents.

 

 

JOKE 134

What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

ANSWER: A gummy bear.

 

 

JOKE 135

Why do dragons sleep during the day?

ANSWER: So they can fight knights.

 

 

JOKE 136

Why did Santa go to music school?

ANSWER: So he could improve his wrapping skills.

 

 

JOKE 137

What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

ANSWER: Stuck

 

 

JOKE 138

What’s a cat’s favorite dessert?

ANSWER: Mice-cream

 

 

JOKE 139

What is a crocodile’s favorite game?

ANSWER: Snap

 

 

JOKE 140

What do you call a fake noodle?

ANSWER: An im=pasta.

 

 

JOKE 141

What animal can you always find at a baseball game?

ANSWER: A bat.

 

 

JOKE 142

Why is the grass so dangerous?

ANSWER: Because it’s full of blades.

 

 

JOKE 143

What goes tick-tock and woof-woof?

ANSWER: A watchdog.

 

 

JOKE 144

What did the hat say to the scarf?

ANSWER: You hang around and I’ll go ahead.

 

 

JOKE 145

Why is a calendar so popular?

ANSWER: Because it has a lot of dates.

 

 

 

JOKE 146

How did the hairdresser win the race?

ANSWER:  She knew a shortcut.

 

 

JOKE 147

What gives you the power to walk through a wall?

ANSWER: A door.

 

 

JOKE 148

Why don’t dinosaurs eat clowns?

ANSWER: Because they taste funny.

 

 

JOKE 149

How does a dog stop a movie?

ANSWER: He presses paws.

 

 

JOKE 150

What is the best season to jump on a trampoline?

ANSWER:  Spring time.

 

 

JOKE 151

What kind of bees make milk?

ANSWER: Boo-Bees.

 

 

JOKE 152

What is a snake’s favorite subject?

ANSWER: Hiss-tory.

 

 

JOKE 153

Where do sharks come from?

ANSWER: Finland

 

 

JOKE 154

What do you call a wizard from space?

ANSWER: A flying sorcerer.

 

 

JOKE 155

Why did the girl throw a stick of butter?

ANSWER: She wanted to see a butter fly.

 

 

JOKE 156

Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park?

ANSWER: They woke him up.

 

 

JOKE 157

Why kind of pants do clouds wear?

ANSWER: Thunderwear.

 

 

JOKE 158

Why are leprechauns such great gardeners?

ANSWER: They have green fingers.

 

 

JOKE 159

What did the policeman say to his tummy?

ANSWER: Freeze, you’re under a vest.

 

 

JOKE 160

Why can’t an elephant use a computer?

ANSWER: Because it’s afraid of the mouse.

 

 

Jokes for kids

 

 

JOKE 161

Why did the kid cross the playground?

ANSWER:  To get to the other slide.

 

 

JOKE 162

What do you call a blind deer?

ANSWER: No eye deer.

 

 

JOKE 163

What lights up a soccer stadium?

ANSWER: A soccer match.

 

 

JOKE 164

What is a Martian’s favorite food?

ANSWER: Martian-mallows.

 

 

JOKE 165

What did the tree wear to the pool party?

ANSWER: Swimming trunks.

 

 

JOKE 166

Why do you call a rich elf?

ANSWER: Welfy.

 

 

JOKE 167

What did the monster put on his ice cream?

ANSWER: Whipped scream.

 

 

JOKE 168

What is a pirate’s favorite letter?

ANSWER: Arrrrrrr.

 

 

JOKE 169

Why should you be careful when it’s raining cats and dogs?

ANSWER: Because you might step in a poodle.

 

 

JOKE 170

What did one plate say to the other plate?

ANSWER: Dinner’s on me.

 

 

JOKE 171

What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

ANSWER: Reality.

 

 

JOKE 172

What’s the difference between a teacher and a book?

ANSWER: You can shut a book up.

 

 

JOKE 173

What’s black and white and goes round and round?

ANSWER: A penguin in a washing machine.

 

 

JOKE 174

Want me to tell you a joke about pizza?

ANSWER: Never mind, it’s too cheesy.

 

 

JOKE 175

What do you call a smart group of trees?

ANSWER: A brainforest.

 

 

JOKE 176

Why did the sun go to school?

ANSWER:  To get brighter.

 

 

JOKE 177

What did the square say to the oval?

ANSWER: You’re totally pointless.

 

 

JOKE 178

What did the duck say to the bartender?

ANSWER: Put it on my bill.

 

 

JOKE 179

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

ANSWER: Because he was outstanding in the field.

 

 

JOKE 180

Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?

ANSWER: He wanted to go to high school.

 

 

JOKE 181

What do stars love to read at night?

ANSWER: Comet books.

 

 

JOKE 182

Who is the king of the class?

ANSWER: The ruler.

 

 

JOKE 183

What washes up on little beaches?

ANSWER: Micro-waves

 

 

JOKE 184

How do you cut a wave in half?

ANSWER: You use a sea saw.

 

 

JOKE 185

Why did Mickey Mouse take a vacation in space?

ANSWER: To visit his friend Pluto.

 

 

JOKE 186

What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?

ANSWER: Look no hands, grandpa!

 

 

JOKE 187

What did Earth say to Saturn?

ANSWER: Please give me a ring.

 

 

JOKE 188

What kind of dogs like car racing?

ANSWER: Lap dogs.

 

 

JOKE 189

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

ANSWER: A cloud.

 

 

JOKE 190

Why are elephants so wrinkled?

ANSWER: Because they take too long to iron.

 

 

JOKE 191

Why was the broom late?

ANSWER: It overswept.

 

 

JOKE 192

How do you get a squirrel to like you?

ANSWER: Just act like a nut.

 

 

JOKE 193

Why shouldn’t write with a broken pencil?

ANSWER: Because it’s pointless.

 

 

JOKE 194

What kind of button won’t unbutton?

ANSWER: A bellybutton.

 

 

JOKE 195

What kind of hair does the ocean have?

ANSWER: Wavy.

 

 

JOKE 196

Why can’t you trust atoms?

ANSWER: They make up everything.

 

 

JOKE 197

What’s a spider’s favorite thing to do on a computer?

ANSWER: Make websites.

 

 

JOKE 198

Why did Billy go out with a prune?

ANSWER: Because he couldn’t find a date.

 

 

JOKE 199

Why was the baby strawberry crying?

ANSWER: Because her mom and dad were in a jam.

 

 

JOKE 200

What do you call a pair of bananas?

ANSWER: Slippers.

 

 

Jokes for kids

 

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