Looking to build a strong companionship with someone? Here’s a reality check.
NEWS FLASH! NO ONE IS PERFECT!
This post is an excerpt from my book WHEN HE A KEEPER (BUT YOU FEEL LIKE THROWING HIM AWAY). It focuses on the importance of giving your partner some slack, because trust me, even YOU are not perfect. Nobody is.
There is no such thing as perfection
The definition of perfect: being entirely without fault or defect
I know you probably think I’m stating the obvious when I say “there is no such thing as perfection”. But many of us get upset when things don’t go according to plan or when our partner does things to disappoint us.
We dream up visions in our head and when the final picture doesn’t match it we feel a wave of frustration and resentment come crashing over us. It hurts because we had an expectation and this expectation was not met.
The amount of suffering a person experiences all comes down to whether they have realistic expectations or not.
By realistic I mean expressing an awareness of things as they are. This means you understand:
Your marriage and family is there to bring you joy and purpose but not perfection
There isn’t a human in this world who doesn’t have flaws
We all have a tendency to make mistakes, say silly things or be indecisive. And that is OKAY because it is through these blunders that we have the opportunity to learn, grow and evolve.
I think it’s funny when I hear people criticize or complain about others as though they themselves are without fault. Do you think you perfect? Do you seriously think you have never made a mistake? Those who are humble will acknowledge their humanness whereas those who don’t perhaps need a good shake-up and reality check.
As Bob Marley so wisely expressed:
Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I’m not perfect
-And I don’t live to be –But before you start pointing fingers…
Make sure your hands are clean!-Bob Marley
When you stop expecting people to be perfect you can like them for who they are. When you stop expecting material possessions to complete you, you can begin enjoying a product for the purpose it provides.
We have to get it through our thick skulls that perfection doesn’t exist. If you are crazy enough to spend your life striving for it you will discover that much like the imaginary gold at the end of the rainbow perfection was all an illusion.
Because that’s what it all comes down to: our perception. Just like beauty is in the eye of the beholder, everyone too has their own personal opinion of perfection. Nobody’s picture is ever exactly the same. Perfection is an illusion, as fluid and changing as our everyday whims.
One day you might think a particular thing is perfect, the next day it could be the complete opposite. It is therefore up to us to start viewing imperfection as a perfectly acceptable thing. It’s fine for your relationship not to be “perfect” (whatever that means). It’s okay for your husband not to be ‘perfect” (whatever that means).
In our society there is a lot of pressure to appear perfectly happy, perfectly sane and perfectly shaped. But if you fall for this perfection trap, it will keep you from telling the truth, even to yourself.
Here’s the truth:
We all have struggles in life, we all have our own demons to face. All of us do; some may just be better at hiding it. Given you now know this – that we are all imperfect creatures with flaws – is there any legitimate reason for you to get angry, upset or annoyed when other people reveal themselves to be less than perfect?
I know it’s not always easy to overlook the errors of other people’s ways but they too are on a journey in life, trying the best they can with the resources they have. Sometimes it’s nice to give a person a break. Be kind. Be honest. Be real and bold about your weaknesses. Accept that we all are imperfect human beings.
Given life constantly throws us all curveballs – and the imperfection of others is a big one – its best we start either ducking or facing these challenges head-on as opposed to looking surprised every time we get smacked in the face. From here on, you can’t say you didn’t see it coming.
So please, feel free to let go and dispose of all your expectations about perfection at the door. You will not be alone as there are currently almost seven billion imperfect individuals residing in this world. The moment you let that illusion go, you can relax and feel free to embrace your flaws.
To find out more about how you can strengthen your relationship with your partner, even when you feel like it isn’t going so great, check out WHAT TO DO WHEN HE’S A KEEPER (EVEN WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE THROWING HIM AWAY).
Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it! Salvador Dali
Want to improve you or your child’s life for as little as $2.99? Then check out my books that are written specifically with you guys in mind. My goal is to inspire and lift you all to greatness!