If you are looking for TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS AND ADVICE On How To Deal With Toxic Friendships, then you have come to the right place.
Today we will be discussing toxic friends.
As I’m sure you would have discovered during the course of your life, friends come in all shapes and sizes.
Some friends are fantastic.
They lift us up when we are feeling down.
They nurture us when we need nurturing and they offer a listening ear whenever we need someone to talk to or vent with.
Then there is the other unsuspecting breed of friends that creep up on us slowly and eventually entangle us in a web of negativity, deceit, and toxicity that leaves us feeling just crap about ourselves and life.
They are our toxic friends.
And in case you haven’t guessed it yet, we don’t really need or want those kinds of friends around.
So how can you tell if a friend is toxic for you?
Ask yourself the following questions and please note:
* HINT: Even if you only answer YES to one or two of these questions, your friendship could still potentially be toxic. You should consider it to be a little RED FLAG. *
Does your friend make you question yourself?
Do they drain you mentally and emotionally?
Do they make you feel bad about yourself and your life?
Do they put you down, belittle, shame, discount, control and criticise you?
Do you feel the need to edit your words around them?
Does your energy change from positive to negative when you are in their presence?
Do they blame you for their problems or expect you to save them?
Do you get far less from the friendship than you invest into it?
Do they genuinely care about your feelings?
Do they drag up your past and refuse to think you can be different?
Do they comment on your smallest flaws or perceived imperfections?
Do you feel trapped in a vicious cycle that you can’t escape?
Is it always about THEM – what they think, want and feel while you get tossed in as an afterthought?
Here are some more tell-tale signs of toxic people:
-They constantly bitch and moan about other friends.
-They gossip about and put other people down.
-Nothing you say or do is ever good enough.
-They always try to one-up your story.
-They aren’t considerate of your needs.
-They always have to be right.
-They treat others badly.
-They play the victim.
-They are self-absorbed.
-They lack compassion.
-They fail to show you respect.
-They take up way too much of your time.
-They try to control you.
-They don’t take “NO” for an answer.
-They constantly have drama going on.
-They lie to you.
-They talk more than they listen.
-Toxic friends think the world revolves around them alone.
-Everyone else comes second (or usually last)
-They think it’s their way or the highway.
-They leave you feeling powerless, vulnerable and emotionally depleted.
-They make you feel guilty and confused.
-They don’t help you; instead they harm your sense of well-being.
Not entirely sure if your friend falls into this category?
Then keep a close eye on how this person behaves and speaks to you and other people.
More importantly HOW DO THEY MAKE YOU FEEL?
Here’s the deal:
You are allowed to terminate toxic relationships.
In fact, if you absolutely SHOULD terminate any relationships that are negatively impacting your life.
You are allowed to walk away from people who have hurt you.
You are allowed to feel angry at them and offended when they are behaving in a totally rude or acceptable way.
You do not owe anyone an explanation for your thoughts and feelings about these toxic friends.
You should make taking care of yourself and preserving your state of well-being a priority in your life.
Life is short. You do not have time to waste on meaningless friendships or unnecessary conversations.
In fact saying goodbye to toxic friendships is a sign of maturity and a part of growing up.
Are you prepared to grow up and let these people go?
Here are some more harsh truths:
You need to avoid people who mess with your head and play with your emotions.
You need to stay away from people who can’t take responsibility for their own actions.
You need to dodge people who make you feel bad for being angry at them when they in fact did something wrong.
There is no room in your life for people who cause you pain or make you feel crap.
You need to avoid people who intentionally do and say things that they know upset you.
You need to let go of people who expect you to prioritize them yet coincidentally never return the favor.
Just because you see someone regularly DOES NOT mean they are your friend.
You may even hang out with them often – they may laugh with you, share their secrets and feelings. But just because they say they have your back doesn’t mean they won’t stab you in it the moment that you turn around.
Some friends are pretenders.
They pretend well.
But at the end of the day, real situations will expose fake people so pay attention.
Trust your gut feeling – it is usually right.
Your body will usually let you know how comfortable you feel with that other person.
Don’t ignore your bad feelings if you are feeling them!
Over time you will realize that some people really aren’t worth the headache anymore.
When it feels dangerous to disagree with someone, it’s time to question just how healthy the relationship is.
If a friend constantly disregards your feeling, steps over boundaries and treats you bad, then please consider this to be a WARNING SIGN.
If your friend can’t or won’t genuinely apologize for their bad actions I’m sorry but that’s another wildly blinking sign.
Once again why are you disregarding these signs?
Beware – some of the most poisonous people in the world come disguised as friends and family.
People may not always tell you how they feel about you but they will always show you with their actions so pay close attention to this.
When will enough be enough?
How low do you need to sink before you realise you are drowning in this toxic friendship?
Remember you will only ever be as good as the people who you surround yourself with. So be brave enough to let go of those who keep weighing you down.
Trust me; the only way to win with a toxic person is not to play their stupid game.
Yes it sucks when friendships die but when you realise that you are constantly treating a person with more respect, love and encouragement than they are treating you, it’s time to make a change.
If you DON’T MAKE A CHANGE, if you continue to keep their company, you run the risk of destroying both your physical and emotional health.
Think I am kidding? Read up on the devastating effects of stress.
Hard times will always reveal true friends.
Real friends are gold.
Toxic friends, on the other hand, are fake, worth nothing or at the very best, are gold-plated.
The moment you are both stuck out in the rain you can be sure they will rust and lose their sparkle.
When people treat you like they don’t care, BELIEVE THEM.
Cutting people out of your life doesn’t mean you hate them. It simply means you respect yourself. Letting go of toxic people is a major step towards being happier and reclaiming some inner peace.
Remember you can’t improve your life if you are surrounded by negative energy that only brings you down.
Removing toxic people from your life is actually not the difficult part. Not feeling guilty about it is.
But guess what? You will get over the guilt eventually. Why? Because one day it will hit you:
NOT EVERYONE IS MEANT TO STAY.
JUST THE SAME – NOT EVERYONE YOU LOSE IS A LOSS.
My rule of thumb is simple.
Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy – Robert Tew
Some people better your life by being in it. Others better your life by staying out of it.
Keep the people who love and motivate you, who encourage and enhance you and want the best for you in your life. If a person does none of these you need to let them go.
Notice the people who are happy for your happiness and sad for your sadness. They are ones who deserve a special place in your life.
Life is short.
Spend it with friends who make you laugh and feel loved.
I promise you, I understand how hard it is to detach yourself from people you have close ties with but sometimes it’s NECESSARY in order to maintain or restore your sanity and inner peace.
I REPEAT – LET THE CRAPPY FRIENDS GO!
Have you realized yet that you don’t get a gold medal for maintaining a toxic friendship?
Seriously, there is no true benefit to “sticking out any form of toxic friendship” over an extended period of time.
Have no fear, you will finally FEEL FREE when you break up and leave the toxic wasteland behind. Only problem is you will regret not cutting the ties sooner.
In a healthy relationship friends will encourage you to grow and succeed.
A true friend accepts who you are but also helps you to become who you should be.
These are the sorts of friends we want in our life! Not the other crappy kind!
You wouldn’t encourage your kids or partner to keep toxic friends in their life, so why do you?
It’s honestly time to make some changes TODAY if you have a toxic friend in your life.
You owe it to yourself to do so.